(1) If your dog is barking at the back door. And your wife is yelling at the front door. Who do you let in first?
(2) I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I dont like to interrupt her.
(3) Why do men die before their wives? They wont to.
(4) A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test.
The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4".
Then the mathematician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, " 4.0".
Finally the lawyer is called in and asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
(5) Your mama's fart stinks so bad that George Bush declared it biological warfare.
(6) Your mama's so fat, that when her beeper goes off everyone thinks she is backing up!
(7) Last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.
(8) Hey what are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants it's ass back?!
(9) Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea? You didn't!! Its all over town!!
(10) A little boy kneels before the foot of his bed to pray before he goes to sleep, "Dear God: If I should happen to die tonight then thats one less test I have to write."
